Grief after perinatal loss

The World Health Organization (WHO) defines the perinatal period from 22 weeks of gestation to the first 28 days of the newborn’s life. Perinatal loss is therefore understood as any loss occurring during this timeframe. This includes voluntary or involuntary losses, the death of a fetus in a multiple pregnancy, and infants placed for adoption.

Gestational losses are often considered “illegitimate losses,” with grief being socially disallowed. In other words, society tends to minimize the significance of such losses with justifications such as: the pregnancy was voluntarily terminated, the baby was never met, there were no funeral rites or photographs to remember them, or the baby had no name. As a result, parents and close relatives may feel confused about their own emotions and may avoid expressing them.

It is beneficial for both parents to receive psychotherapeutic support during this process, as couples frequently experience marital difficulties stemming from complicated grief in one or both partners. Research indicates that up to 74% of couples may even divorce following such experiences.

Professional support involves examining factors that may contribute to complicated grief, such as prior losses, maternal age, gestational age, pregnancy complications, personal coping resources, social support networks, the presence of other living children, and coexisting physical or mental health conditions.

It is also recommended to address sensitive themes related to perinatal loss, such as grieving by projects, with the prior conception of “what a family is” or mourning the expectations of life with the baby. Work with extended family members is equally important, as they often offer well-intentioned comments and suggestions that may inadvertently hinder the grieving process. Verbal and non-verbal messages that push parents to “move on” or to “replace” the baby prematurely can obstruct the healthy expression of emotion.

There is a possibility that this particular type of grief may lead to physical and mental health consequences, evolving from symptoms into emotional disorders such as post-traumatic stress, depression, or anxiety.

It is important to highlight the unique grieving process of the father of the deceased child. Frequently, fathers assume the role of primary support for the mother, and as caregivers, attention tends to focus on the mother’s grief. Consequently, the father’s attitude may be perceived as indifferent, as he continues with daily responsibilities without openly expressing his emotions, something that the father is used to by social expectations.